back to feeling normal..back to having a clearish head and thinking without getting a headache. finally woke up this morning and didnt wish to go back to bed cas i didnt feel good..i think not babysitting this weekend and just ended up having a lot of time to myself helped..but it did also bore me to tears..ran errands today for a bit..and yesterday took mommy a few places cas she hurt her ankle at work and wont listen to the docs and stop triyng to walk on it but shes doing better..i was killer pissed off that she didnt fill her prescription for vicodin..bad bad me but temptations can be a pain and well having those lying around with no one taking them would have made my weekend..but nothing to worry about cas she didnt get it filled cas she doesnt like taking them..so no zoning out for me..but had a semi bad day yesterday..pretty much ended up feeling incredibly stupid and worthless after 5 mins in the car with mommy..wanted to cut but didnt..but now i remember why it is i dont like ppl being in my car! everyone seems to have a problem with my messy car..but its like seriously why does it matter so much to them?! i clean it when i can..and i know its a bit messy now but i live out of my car during the week and im sorry i dont have the time to go and vaccumm it whenever it needs to be done..
my car is still a mess..to busy..was to sick to bother with it..no time..never have enough time..doesnt help that i waste time a lot or forget what im doing a lot..so at some point i know it will get done i just dont know when..and i guess a better question would be why do i even have to clean my car becuasue someone else wants me too? blah i hate my incessant need to have someone elses approval..but it will always be the same thing i suppose..get yelled at for something..feel horrible..think about it for a while..and then spend the rest of me life making whatever wrong i did better..that takes an awful lot of time..story of my life...
did some cleaning yesterday when i got back home..cooked two seperate dinners.. cas im back in vegetarian phase it seems..and no one will eat my veggie food lol..so i had to cook two dinners last night..and both turned out good..it was just chili..so now i also have dinner premade for part of the week ...trying hard again to pay more attention to what i eat..really have been eating fast food way to much cas its so easy to stop and pick up on the way to somewhere else..and its soooo unhealthy eating it like 4 times a week..so trying harder to eat at home.not like i have money to keep stopping and spending a few bucks every day on junk food..so im hoping planning meals a bit more will help..as long as it doesnt go overboard yet again you know...
hmm nothing else to interesting going on..usual stuff..slacking on work stuff again so all my free time today will have to go to that so i can catch up on it to turn it in tomorrow..
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