hmmm

so i guess its prolly a bad thing that i dont remember even writing here lately...


sooo havent been feeling to good but riley had the flu over the weekend and i was with him and so i freaked about getting it and spent quite a bit of time trying to talk him even into taking his meds! but i was there all weekend and his parents were out of town so he elected to sleep with me and it was just if i dont have it by the time i leave im not getting it lol..but ive been feeling sick but i dont think i had the flu completely..maybe a low grade part flu part cold or something..but just headachy and cranky and major tired..but im feeling a bit better today..and ive been making myself go to work ! so i cant get stuck in the im sick i dont want to do anything phase..still a bit fuzzy headed and out of it but its not so bad today

gotta catch up on some back paperwork today..before going to work..im still up state the state cut my hours but oh well..i have a job and i just have to keep reminding myself of that..and once i start getting paid things will get a little bit easier..

annnnnnnnnnnnd

im going to cali!!!! i got my plane ticket yesterday and it took all the money i had and then some but im goiing !! i almost didnt think it would work out but in the end i got the ticket and so broke its not e ven funny but im still going to cali in a week or so! i really cant believe it worked out and that im getting to go..because the tickets just kept going up in price and then i had to wait until i had money and the airports we left from would have to be a huge factor cas her mom couldnt go to two different airports..and so it was a lot of talking on the phone and stuff to get it work out..but it did and so i get to go..and im worried about money but im hoping to babysit so that ill have a little extra money..and mommy did say she would give me some before i left..so now i have to work on packing and figuring out what im taking and all that fun stuff..and how we are getting to the airport..and if my car is going or not..so just some little stuff to still work outand when i get back all my money has to go into my car to get it worked on and bills of course..so im hoping it works out at least enough that nothing is late...and yvonne is the coolest for even asking me if i wanted to go..and she is going to help me pay for the parks and stuff! and even cooler we may be seeing jim while we are there.i have really missed him and really hadnt considered how much we were together until well hes across the country and i have no one to talk to and be silly with anymore! so it would really be cool to see him

and i can not believe cali doesnt have sweet tea !! are they in the dark ages or something ?! holy cow thats gonna be a hard 7 days to make it through with no sweet tea lol

annnnd im going to be nias maid of honor! and then i remembered why it was i said no the first time she asked..darn it i dont like being in pictures ..blah.. but i do want to be the maid of honor and its cool she asked me and i guess ill be suffering for a few hours for her benefit..and we are having an after party for her wedding lol..cant have alcohol at the wedding because of mommy and its like ok this is so not gonna work lol..so we are planning on going somewhere else and partying later that night :)

hmmm yesterday kinda sucked royally on some levels but i dont think i cared and i still dont...got really really mad and annoyed at mommy because she asked me to let wayne take my car and when shes asks to borrow my car for him i dont get a lecture on how he isnt insured and anything could happen and all this stuff and i had been ok with letting him borrow it a little bit not a lot or anything..and i was in trouble for doing it..but when she asks then its ok and its not a big deal anymore and he will be fine driving it and it was just like i dont know..and i was over at dees house looking up stuff for the ticket and checking my email and all this other stuff i wanted to do and shes hounding me about leaving and going home so they could take my car..and its like i didnt promise it to them but im rushed to go and give it to them...how is it that when she wants something i have to drop everything to give it to her but she tells me i want everything my way when i want something or need something..or that im being selfish..and nothing i said yesterday really mattered and it was like ok fine dont listen to me..i already know how to make you listen..and the entire 20 or so mins it took me to get home all i thought about was that no one ever listens to me..or it feels like no one ever listens to me or ppl talk over me or its like im not even there..and its like geez what do i have to do to get attention...so i cut the heck out of my ankle and didnt feel bad about it at all..it doesnt really hurt today but yesterday after destroying a sock it was like one second of holy hell im gonna be in trouble..and then it was the usual cover your tracks type thinking..but it was a bit messier than usual becuase it was a new razor and those are just sickeningly easy to use...wanted to do my wrist but no way to hide it really..gotta find my wrist bands again..but anyway..its not a big deal..they are all better

and guess thats all my usual news

riley and harris have email addresses again now and they email me like once a day to ask how i am and if im at work lol.