Monday, August 25, 2014

I'm not sure I want to try anymore

The longer I sit here and the more I think the more depressed and suicidal I ffeel... I'm worried and scared... And keep thinking and wishing that I would have done things differently yesterday... I just don't understand why its so hard... Last night I was thinking that I didn't want anyone to say bad things about me to noa  .. What I wanted her to tell her that I loved her so very much... Cuz I'm not sure how I'm going to come out of this one... I'm just so angry at myself.. In having the wait is driving me crazy.. I'm afraid to leave the house because I know I'll go in search of razors... I'm afraid to be in the  house because I know that I can burn ... I don't know who to talk to... I don't want Sarah to worry... I don't think I want to see my therapist or my supervisor this week... I don't think I can handle it... I can't even make myself get out of bed right this minute because I'm afraid of what I'll do ..only just sit and cry and think and feel anxious and I'm trying very hard not to take anymore medicine.. I can't believe I messed up Just when  things were starting to get better ..I am so very stupid

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