you know..i woke up this morning and am in a decent mood..im actually planning my day...im actually wanting to get out of the house and do something...its a weird feeling ... and i guess it should be a good thing..but really it kinda makes me feel a bit nervous...
but my plan is to go out to breakfast..cas i got a little extra money yesterday..and im trying not to eat all the candy out of the package lol...restraint ..un huh.. and then go run errands...do laundry...go to the office..and the see a client..and then hopefully it will be early enough to come home and cook...i need to cook more...and i also realized that i am a complete dork in that there is a laundromat on the corner where sarah lives and i can so get my laundry done lol..without having to make a special trip! im so thoughtless at times..but i know now and will remember..and so maybe saturday i will take a bit of time and get laundry done...im not sure about dropping it off and letting someone else do it...so just a plan...since i get anxious and what not when i have to do certain things..ugh..
sadly though i have to pick which trip i want to do with sarah..like the big trip ...cant do both...but i guess i knew that and was just kinda trying not to think about it...i really dont know which one i want to actually do more...ive never been to seattle..but that is more focused on the conference..and the cruise is just purely vacation..but its not as if we cant do trips other times..and we do have the smaller things also planned..like nia's in march and july..and virgnia beach for a weekend, and umm oh the show in april..and of course in the middle of ALL of that is the whole moving task...so it will be busy..but with time inbetween...im not sure though..for the 'big' trip.which i want more..and if i could get my mind out of the gutter long enough .. that might help!
but today will also consist of doing paperwork on the new online system..and that is going to take forever..ugh...i want to get started though...cas it may take longer ...but who knows..maybe it will be easier for me...doing it online..but the sucky part is that only half of mine are online right now..and the other half i still have to email in...and i have to get the dang goals written in...blah but it will be a long day..
im realizing that i need to keep myself busy today..the nagging no therapy thoughts still take over on tuesdays..and its a bit hard getting through the day..especially when there is so much going on in my head and i want to just go and talk and i cant...i think next week ill go ahead and make an appointment to start up with the bh ppl again...i want another week to kinda get back into the swing of things...im slowly starting to feel less afraid ..and more comfortable here..its not home..but i am ok here. i juts wish the other apartment place would get it together...its been a long wait...but ill just keep calling and bugging them..until i get an answer...
but time to get up and kinda get ready for the day...i need to drag myself to the shower and all that fun stuff...stupid body issues going on...and i think i may end up with a new scale soon...im a bit more active these days and if i can juts eat my eating a bit more under control it would be so much better..and healthier..and yes im actually craving salad..i know weird...im also craving chicken wings lol..but well i just know i need to go to krogers and see if there are any made...they change the food options each day..and so sometimes there wings arent there..and yes..sadly enough i go to kroger mainly for there chicken wings lol... no out of control stuff...i have to keep telling myself that..no getting out of hand with it...
ok i think ive rambled on enough for today..
current addiction is strawberry poptarts...yeah
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