Thursday, February 27, 2014

Angry, Hurt, Stupid

somehow i managed to lose $300 ..and i say lose because it wouldnt be nice to accuse anyone of taking it...and i dont know where its at and i fucking needed that to pay something today and now i look incredibly stupid because i met up with her and suddenly its like um i dont have the money.. i had the money ..i have the bank reciept to show i took it out of the bank..i didnt have anyone else in my car..i stopped to get something to eat and then came home..and somehow between coming home and going back out..my money is missing and i am angry..i had juts enough to pay bills..i did..and now im trying to figure out how to come up with the missing money..and i just feel so so so stupid.. so hurt ...so angry that i worked so hard to get back on stable groudn and im still not there yet..i want to cry...but im not going to cry anymore..i looked in my car..i looked in my bag..i looked in the trash..i looked in my room ... all of these places more than once..and i cant find it..i may do a lot of things but i dont lose money...i just dont...all of my cards are in my wallet..all of my change...nothing was really disturbed..but all of the $20 are out of my bag...somehow...the 10 and 5 are still there..if my bag had fallen over or something then everything would have been all over the place..but everything was in my bag..except for the 300..and what do i do now?? ill just spend the weekend working or something i guess..to make up the extra money that is missing...right now i juts want to take meds and go to sleep...

and today had been such a good day..and now this...now im back in my depressed leave me alone hole..and i dont want any company...i want to be left alone....and ill go back to just keeping to myself...

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