...i want to write but the words are trapped in my head...in my throat...in my body and i cant get them out..i cant process all that happened yesterday..i keep going over it ..trying to figure out what happened...what went wrong..what i did wrong..but i dont know...so i will stop talking i guess..unless i have to..i dont want to talk about my problems anymore..i dont havae any i guess..i can be happy and not care..but most likely ill just be silent and withdrawn...i want to hide from the world ..and i cant..and that upsets me even more...
i havent gotten to the point of where i am wondering about cutting in a serious way...i know i have the blades..and for now that is enough i guess...
but as im coming off of my meds..yeah..i guess ill just have to see how things go...i know i wont be feeling good..so really why bother at all
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