if i could be anymore annoyed at the world i would be..and today is the day that it would happen...craptastic day..craptastic weekend. i had to let go of every ounce of pride i had and ask my boss at work if i could borrow money against my next check..just so that i can make it through the next two weeks to get to my freakin next check...then i have all my work stuff going on that im no where near being done with..as freakin usual..and then i cancelled my pdoc appt cas she has already told me that i cant see her if i cant pay for the appt..so i have to see her in june..sometime..cant go tomorrow...yay me...and then i remembered at the last minute that i need to go and pick my prescriptions ffrom the clinic..the problem being that i cant go today..and will have to go tomorrow..the bigger problems being that i havent had the right dose for the effexor for like 3 days..and just the anxiety alone worrying about if ill start to withdraw from it between now and tomorrow morning has me on edge big time...and im stressing about it so much that i really think its making me feel worse..and i will do almost anything to just not withdraw from the effexor..but right now today i have to get work stuff done and that means not getting the meds till tomorrow morning..and then i was stupid and called the free clinic where my meds are at and asked how much my meds would be..and the guy on the phone sounded like i had lost my mind..and i was almost second guessing myself and thinking maybe my meds werent there or something..and then hes like no..if your meds are here then they are free...ok major duh me moment...so that was one good thing..but then i also remembered that i have to get my records from my pdoc and the gyno..and that brings me to the icing on the cake of my godawful morning...it will be most likely 40 bucks to get all of my records..wtf
why does it cost to get the stupuid things..its just info about me..and most likely it is info that i can even read...ugh..crap crap crap...and so just mad and pissed off and angry at everything right now..and lets add in the issues with mommy needing junk from me and needing me to write something for my brother who is in trouble.and i just want to scream at everyone to leave me alone ..and i want to just go home and lay down with bounce and taji..and well bounce was awfully mad at taji for something early this morning and i woke up to her hissing like nobodies business..and so i closed taji up in the bedroom..and bounce was in the rest of the house..and they were on better terms this morning i guess...and not even thinking about tajis consistent ability to conform her body to fit against my arm no matter how im laying is making me feel better right now..i had to cut my nails this morning because the picking is off the charts right now...and well trying hard not to let it turn into full fledged cutting..but ugh..so now i cant pick although im trying hard to..im itchy and i dont know why..and im cranky and sick and tired and just not in a good spot at all right now..ok .. 
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