i dont know whats wrong wiith me...i feel okay and so i question it..now i wonder if something is wrong with me...i guess i just think that im always supposed to feel sad or depressed or agitated..and so a day where none of that is present actually worries me ?! how is that possible...i wanted a completely dull and boring day and thats what i got..and now im worried about it.. i should be happy nothing is going on..i should be happy that my head is almost completely calm and slow right now..and i want to be..i really do..but i cant just relax with the thoughts..its just to different to deal with..and its days like today when i really questions why i have to go to therapy..or take meds or any of that stuff..i feel fine..im not thinking about the past..or work or really anything..i could live the rest of my life and never question anything about my past...i wont have to deal with the stress or anxiety anymore .. why cant it be like this always...i wonder why im not screwed up enough to need constant support and understanding.. it should be a good thing that i can manage some days without freaking out or being in crisis...but thats the time when i feel more invisible..because nothing is going on..i dont know