Tuesday, March 09, 2010

hopeless

things are just very depressing right now..im feeling worried and tired..and stressed out and anxious...i feel like im always going to be this way and nothing can help me..

i saw the pdoc today and talked about the meds and stuff..and shes adding a new one..to see how i handle it and if it helps..i wish i could just make myself happy and then none of this would be an issue..but i cant..i cant do anything it seems ...but im trying effexor..going today to see how much it is going to cost..and if i can get it filled this week...she talked about mood stabilizers and other stuff that could be possibility if i really cant handle the current type of med..and well she also talked about the possibility that she may not be able to help me..just based on her experience and stuff..and i know shes giving me fair warning but its like im just losing everyone right now..and it stresses me out..and my thinking went down hill really fast...irrational or not..
i just feel like i am falling apart..and i really cant be helped

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