Monday, May 02, 2005

stupid comp

its not picking up the internet anymore so i cant get online...im using yvonnes comp for right now and then ill be back on campus in a couple hours but right now im not sure i want to pay for internet...i dont have the extra money and my comp isnt picking up the wireless in the apartment right now anyway and im not paying for it if i cant even use it...i guess right now it doesnt matter all that much..im going home thursday and then i wont be able to use a comp anyway and then out of town and then home and i have no idea when ill be around a comp again before next friday at least because i really dont want to have to be stuck going to work with mommy and i know she will ask me to go with her and i know i wont say no and then ill maybe even get new clothes out of it....i dont want to go out of town becuaze i need to go work if i can and now i cant and summer school starts soon....so much for a break...ming is permantly banned from my roomm now...she went and took a bathroom break on my bed yet again and sshe got my pillow and i gave her a little credit and since i didnt see all of it i said maybe it was dusti..well it wasnt dusti and now im considering throwing my pillow away because yea its gross...but i dont know...i really need a new comp but i cant get one now and its not like i can just go ask mommy for one since she has to help me pay for school since im pretty much out of fin aid...i hate not having my comp working :( it drives me crazy and then im left to my head and that is not somewhere i want to be at all!!!!!! i dont know...after my exams and things tomorrow ill be able to work on it a little bit since i have to pack and do laundry on wed and then figure out what im gonna be doing with dusti for a while since i wont be around ... right now i really am not liking myself for a couple reasons that i just dont want to get into because its a waste of time and im really a waste of time....

1 comment:

luvpayne said...

you are not a waste of time.. and you know that.. please try to stop telling yourself that because soon you will just give up and begin to act like the person your mother wants you to be...you do not want to be that person, you worked too damned hard to let her alter all that you worked for... be strong..

you are wise strong and couragous..

remember that.
luv