scared

i hate therapy days..they scare me...i feel like crying or being sick...not sure which though...i keep trying to figure out what we are going to talk about but i cant..im bringing my bear with me...i want my bear...i love my bear...i made her yesterday at the build a bear workshop..yvonne and her mom went there just for me..so i could see it because i had never been..i hadnt planned on making a bear but i ended making one and named her sybella from kingdom of heaven and picked out her outfit..she has a hello kitty shirt and a tan skirt and frilly socks and yvonne got her sandals and undies as a gift ... and we went to the disney store and toys r us..it was a good weekend..a really good weekend...i went shopping all over the place but didnt really get anything ...we went out to eat and to the movies and i went home with her and we went shopping again and out to lunch and to the big mall that was for my benefit...yvonne knows me well and going to build a bear made my day...they have it set up so cool..and i want to go make another one but it will be a while before i can..those are expensive bears!! but im happy i have her...its alot different having a bear you make vs one you buy in a store.. being with yvonne and her mom and knowing im included to is different..nothing is expected of me...most of the time her moms pays for me..she has gotten me a lot of stuff since ive been living with yvonne too...none of it i asked for..i know not to ask for anyting cas thats rude..i dont know...i know what its like being with them and i know what its like being with my mom and i know i will never ever invite yvonne to go home with me...i will never invite anyone to go home with me..easier that way..i really want to cry...arran will find out what ive done and hate me for it...i know ill try to avoid talking about it but she wont let me off that easy..two out of seven burns have started forming blister...both of which some how popped and im trying not to pick at them..the one on my chest hurts the most...i shouldnt have put it where i did and ill be in a heck of a lot of trouble if mommy catches sight of it one day when she decides to pull up my shirt...it tkes a long time for the skin to grow back :(