im tired..i dont want to keep doing this..i dont want to keep going from doctor to doctor..i dont want to keep hurting and no one being able to say why..i dont want to not be listened to..i dont want to be told that i need to be happy .. and i dont want to be told anything really..and i want to hurt...im realizing that i am wanting to hurt..to go numb to not feel anything anymore...just one more door slammed in my face today..and im tired of all of it..and i dont know what i want to do anymore..i dont want to try anymore..i dont like so much being out of my control..i dont ..im frustrated and tired and sad and drained and im out of ideas..i just want to be left alone..i dont want to talk to anyone or be around anyone or anything..i dont want to have to deal with anything..and now what am i supposed to do ?? keep myself safe ?? for a life i want no part of ? not hurt myself when all i want is an escape?? lie and pretend becuase that makes everyone else feel better? no im just a disappointment...a failure..nothing...
im nothing ... and i dont have the energy left to fight anymore ...not right now... i want it to be over and done with..i do...
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