frustration...

again i feel the need to say that i am no ones keeper .. i am supposed to take care of myself..and thats all...so can someone please explain to me why it is that 2 freaking grown ass adults are currently acting like spiteful children?  why cant they just walk away from each other if the relationship didnt work out...why do i need to be on the recieving end of conversations that i want no part in?  why is it my concern?  i am not the go between. i am not the one who got the two of them talking..and i truly wanted nothing to do with there relationship..so why why why do i still need to be given information about it?  i want to tell both of them to just grow up and move on..they both have there own stuff to deal with and work on and so ok no big deal it didnt work out..whatever...let it freaking go...ugh..i mean i have my own stuff to deal with and thats what im trying to deal with darnit..i have to learn to let other ppls stuff go..and i will...i refuse to be pulled into this mess..its not my problem..they are both adults..so let them live with there choices and their behaviors..but good grief they are acting like children...

im also feeling a little peeved at mommy right now...she calls demanding stuff and telling me ive done something wrong and its not any of her business..im mad that she is all in my business and going through my mail and everything..i know ive asked her to bail me out of a few tight spots money wise but i dont think that gives her the right to constantly ask me about my bills or tell me when something is due ..its not her freaking business..and the next time i move i am just going to transfer all of my stuff to where im at...no more mail going home..i need to break off..i do...maybe i do need to get a po box up here and just get my mail routed here...im just tired of her being so involved in stuff that doesnt concern her..and its upsetting me...and the double standard of what i can and cant do is upsetting me today...she can tell me i cant do something..and that i need to not visit a friend..but she can go and do whatever she wants with no one telling her no..or telling her where she can go..i mean im going on my trip anyway..and ill be damned if she is going to tell me no..im old enough to make my own choices you know...it may come as a surprise but i am..and i guess its time i started doing my own stuff..and i know that next time..i just wont tell her..i will have to learn to stop telling her stuff because of wanting her approval...i havent gotten her approval this far..so maybe if i begin to understand that i wont be getting her approval then it wont hurt so much..then maybe ill stop trying so hard...i have to become my own person..i do...