just...the usual

im supposed to be going home today..and i am..but i dont want to..and so there is a lot of fighting i guess going on about going home and when and why..no not seeing linda this time she is out of town :( cant afford to see her twice anyway...but we are fighting hard to deny old rules i guess..because its going on 10:30 and i have yet to leave..i have yet to get ready in any form or fashion and actually i just want to go back to bed and just kinda forget i said i would be going on ... but its just i feel rushed..mommy called a few times this morning to ask what i was doing and where i was..and i wasnt even awake yet..much less on the way home...but its just the rushed feeling is there..ill be in trouble if im late..i need to go home..i have to go home..why havent i left yet type thinking..when in reality i can go whenever i want to..i dont have plans for today and not many for tomorrow...i dont have to be home at any specific time but it feels like im breaking rules by taking so long to leave and get home..i cant even decide if i want to go to my sisters first or just go home..mommy is expecting me at home which makes me not want to go..i dont know .. im just feeling stressed out about it big time and i havent even left yet..there are so many things to do instead..i dont want to drive..or anything.