hmmm

ive decided that i really dont like being scared and nervous about something and i dont like not knowing what is going to happen..it sucks royally and its a pain in the butt...my first day at the hospital really wasnt bad at all..saw a lot and learned a lot and forgot every name i was told but other than that it was fun..a little overwhelming but nothing horrible and having information thrown at me all day is nerve wrecking and i have no idea how people get used to it...fin aid is still screwed up big time and i just dont know how its going to be fixed..working everyday wont be to bad...class is going to be a big stresser and being in the hospital all day is really weird..it still makes me nervous just going back and forth on the floors..i cant help thinking that someone is going to jump out and grab me and put me in the hospital and ill never be able to get out again..i walked by the pysch unit a million times today and i asked if i ever got to go there and janet said not really but i could if i wanted to and set up the shadow thing and i said it would be fun..but i have no idea why i want to go..ok so i do know..i want to know how it works and what i ts like..and when i wasnt completely weirded out by it i was positive that somehow i would end up there and it would be so weird being in the hospital you worked at even for a short time..and im being really confusing right now..my head is all over the place im guessing and im in the library and dusti is gonna be so mad at me for leaving her all day and i went out to dinner with yvonne and it was fun..we were going to go to a movie but put it off for a few days..im gonna be by myself this weekend and im not sure i want that..im confusing myself a lot right now