back to reality

i miss being a camp..it was simple and we had the same schedule every single day..no surprises at all and nothing unexpected...kinda funny how easy it is to get used to that..but now its over with for a year and im back in the real world with all the stuff i got to leave behind for a good while...given i came to riley and harris's house today and they got back and ran to give me hugs...i did miss them..but also dealing with them isnt the same anymore..i spent 2 months working with kids who had serious problems and now its easier to see i guess the extremes kids can take when they are sad and so nothing else bothers me anymore...weird in some far off way im to tired to worry about right now...i should be sleeping but harris is taking over my bed rightnow and im working up the energy to move him..but i prolly wont so its no big deal..not to mention he wont be happy with me if i move him lol..

so camp stuff..really hard leaving and it was completely different from anything i have ever done in my life..when i went there i wasnt expecting to leave planning on going back..i didnt really think about the learning expriences or any of that..but theen i get there and never want to leave or that they would ask me to come back..but a lot of us are going back next year or planning on going back..white water rafting was my favoritest thing to do..rock climbing, the tower, and all the hiking was just really hard and tiring but worth it...my last great feat was rock climbing which linda even heard about..but i think ive scarred my knee up big time with that one though..but i did it and got to the top twice and paid for it big time the next day when moving was a pain in the butt...i keep wondering what all the staff are doing and if they are having fun...my last night was great though..i got my own closing ceremony and heard all of this stuff about myself that i never would have considered..suddenly im respected and and trusted by this whole group of ppl when i think i sucked most of the time...but hearing them istn the same as hearing someone else..because we were all stuck there together and i cant say i did something by myself because everything i did went back to admin really fast and i never got in trouble for anything..i wasnt yelled at for anything i did..instead they called it creative and staying on top of things..and the few times i did start to really doubt what i was doing..jon or arran out of the blue told me i was doing a really good job....i lasted throug all of it without cutting..scratched the heck out of every measly mosquito bite i got but i didnt cut..considered it but it wasnt really an option anymore..i dont think it will work the same but i wont hold myself to that either...now its just kinda wait for it to pass and then move on to something else...before i left i think i was hugged by everyone a million times and it was nice..of course then since it was my last night me hollice and bobbi jo were drinking in the laundry room when nia comes and tells me mommy is at camp..not that it messed anything up because i took her back to the swamp as soon as i could and went back but it was really unexpected but it worked out and so my last day was fun..leaving the girls was hard too..they woke up crying and promising to come back next year..the one we had the most trouble with will most likely be back next year..and it will be kinda cool seeing all of them or even some of them again..some i never want to see again but i will work with them if i have too...