"The art of being yourself at your best is the art of unfolding your personality into the person you want to be. . . . Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others."~ Wilfred Peterson
i listen to this song and i hurt...thats all i do is hurt...the song is associated with a show i used to watch called higher ground...disturbed teens...wilderness treatment program..so on and so forth ... the scene is heart breaking for me...does anyone understand how hard it is to face the truth ? to acknowledge the hurt and pain?? to someone else without just breaking down? how long have i lead on to the secrets..how long have i worked to keep them hidden and out of my head? push away the thoughts..pretend they are not there..give myself the childhood that i wanted..not the one that i cant even remember...not the one that fills me with fear and shame and guilt...not the one that lets me believe that i have to punish myself..and hurt myself..and be mean to myself...i dont want that life anymore..it is to hard...the price of it is to high now...and im not sure i can pay it anymore..not without needing that punishment to go along with it...needing some sort of outlet to release the anger and hurt without letting it become overwhelming..and the anger turns into sadness anyway...always...the anger burns out and sadness sets in and takes over and it is hard to feel hopefful in a world that has given me more pain thatn anything else...i just hurt...im hurt and angry....so very very angry..
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