it has been 5 months...5 full months without any cutting..
in the past 5 months..the urges have come and gone...some serious but most arent...its only been this past weekend where i was ready to do damage...serious damage...but calmed down and have been able to move past it..and not act on the thoughts...had i been alone i would have..i had accepted that..and the negative thoughts took off..but i didnt do it...i didnt ...
for 5 months my skin has been able to heal..my skin has remained intact...no bleeding..no new scars made by me...nothing...the smaller scars are fading away..the bigger scars are now just there...no anger or shame about them anymore..they are just there..
am i feeling proud of myself ??
am i able to better manage??
how in the world did this happen??
maybe questioning it is no the way to go...it is what it is you know..it happened..stuff happened..but i am still alive..i am still breathing..and the choice to hurt myself or not is all mine..and no one elses...i can make the choice to be and stay safe...
i can make the choice to live my life without the shame and guilt that can come with the self harm...
its been 5 months... and a lot has happened in these 5 months and still i havent self harmed...i havent
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