yay its friday...i made it to friday...cas goodness i think i was wondering if i would make it or not! blah..i mean it hasnt been a bad week or anything ...you know nothing over the top that was new or anything..just lots of thinking and driving !
some things have happened money wise thats causing some concerns but im not so worried about it...maybe i should be more worried..i dont know...the energy to worry seems to be leaving me..guess im relearning what i feel like when im on my meds and they are right..i dont worry as much..and its like well 'it is what it is' and ' i can only do so much' ...like im just doing what i can and not worrying about the rest...
but things will be changing more over the summer money wise...the good thing is that im up for a raise!! hooray! next month ill have my eval at work and ill be up for a raise...the suckish part is that ill have to start paying on my student loans..booo... hate those things..there so stupid and i hate owing..so i guess i may as well get used to paying it...blah...but yep my hours at work right now and like golden..im busy..and doing a lot..but im busy...trying to stay on top of notes and all of that..so yeah...
im still in the process of working on winning that triip to florida...there are now two trips being given away for two different things...one is the hotel stay in fla..and the other is a all expense paid trip to cancun...i want both of them!!! but ill take one or the other...crap..i just want a trip...a lady is coming to talk to all us counselors on the 20th about time shares and what not..and thats where the cancun trip is coming from...the 20th is going to be a super busy day..gosh..and i was talking to my supervisor about the trips on umm wed...and there is only one other counselor thats real competition...and im like gonna have to be way on top of things this week with notes..and next week too..ugh...
well i gotta take cpr and first aid tomorrow morning...essh...not fun..cas i gotta be up at like 6:30! on a freaking saturday!...yuck..im hoping it wont take the entire time..that would stink...hmm guess i gotta remember to eat tomorrow morrning too...fun .. you know my eating lately has been so weird..like i seem to only want salad ( yes i know!!), subway, and tacos....no fast food..cept well the dollar teas from mcdonalds that i cant seem to stop drinking! but other than that you know ..im not drinking soda..not getting fast food..heck ive been in mcdonalds twice today and both times i just got tea..no food..i had subway for lunch..and i had tacos twice yesterday lol..that was pretty funny....i ran errands today and stuff..and i ventured out a little bit...got my usual junk..and picked up my ' treat' for the week which is a frozen pizza...got lunch stuff..and salad stuff for tacos lol...turkey meat and chicken..no hanburger or anything...did give in though on the hot dogs..cas i did try for the fat free ones..and they werent bad or anyhting you know..but i realize that i also havent had them since ive tried them and thats how i know im not really wanting them...but like i think my meds are kinda killing my appetite too...cas today i missed breakfast...and had subway w/ chips for a real late lunch...and thats it...like right now im thinking about fixing a sandwich or something when i get home...but really im not hungry..i dont know what it is...im trying to stay away from the scale and just weigh myself once a week or something..and yeah my weight is yoyo'ing big time..and i dont know why?!?! but i know that im making better choices food wise...i mean im still eating processed food and stuff..like with the hamburger helper and stuff..even though i am using turkey meat instead of hamburger meat cas its healthier you know..but processed is processed..and but i have to give somewhere you know...i mean im working on getting in more fruits and veggies and all of that..and ive given up a lot of junk food and what not..and im trying hard not to buy stuff that i know ill binge on...so you know im trying ..i really am...and i know its going to take time and everything..and im trying to remember that...and i think the h eat is also affecting my appetite too...its so hot and being hot makes me not want to eat also...so yeah...lots going on...
you know i had a conversation today about surrogacy with a clients parent..is it wrong of me to actually consider this as an option??? is it bad ?? i know that i have some serious concerns when it comes to surrogacy..and how it would work out and stuff..and it worries me ..but not enough to say an absolute no to the option..and yes i know that it will be a while before that is even a real possibility..but its like suddenly there is an option that i can work with you know...one that would lessen my own discomfort over the whole sex and pregnancy thing...and well all of my issues with insemination even...but how would i feel about someone else carrying my baby? cas you know in every way the child would be mine..my dna and all that good stuff...but another woman will have carried her/him for 9 whole months..that would make things different wouldnt it? i dont know if it would make things harder or easier...i dont know...but at the same time there is a bit of happiness over the fact that in a few years there will be options you know...although for what ever reason that im obessing over a child right now i dont know why..but yeah..just thoughts i guess..
goodness...just lots to think about today lol...the heat lately is killer and i dont even want to leave the house its so hot outside!! but yeah taking it easy this weekend...gotta organize work stuff and what not and of course do the never ending paperwork! fun fun funnnnn
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