things are looking down

today..tonight..its just not good. the sad feelings are so overwhelming and it feels like im suffocating under all of them..i dont want to do anything at all but just lay here and stare at nothing at all..keep playing a repetitive game on facebook because i dont have to do anything but match colors over and over and it just leaves room for thoughts to run all over my head..its tiring and i hate how the mood is so back and forth right now..one minute ok and the next almost into wanting to cut or worse..its not fair..so much worrying and thinking and wondering..ive really messed up :( :( thats what my big conclusion is..that ive just screwed up big time and now im paying for it