christmas eve wasnt a good day in the end..chhristmas was better and was able to control the anger a bit better..didnt cut while at home..but have razors again..and now that im back at my house things are feeling a bit quieter and i dont know just quiet i guess..need time to regroup from the trip home and cant do that until umm next week...sad but i think we will be rescheduling t and pdoc from next week cas of money..trying to be ok with that..but i know it needs to be done or else ill just worry and worry and worry about money and all that..cas the way thigns are looking right now i wont even have all the money we neeed for rent on time..ugh..seriously my goal is to catch up onfinanaces next year and learn to budget ... but really eevery since the accident funds have been all over the place..and i need to get the taxes thing in order so yeah..and wow im rambling a lot right now..sorry for jumping ahead into next week already..but i need to plan since i keep worrying about all of it..im having trouble letting things go again..ive been worrying more lately..and the huge anger issue athome the other night was a little bit concerning..but i dont know what is causing it...
ok but to back track a little bit..christmas day was pretty fun..with my brothers and sister and opening gifts and all talking and trying to show each other everything at once..im super excited cas we got 2 gift cards to barnes and noble and new books, a watch, clothes of course, a talking coffee mug that makes my day, a poster of edward lol from my brother, new cooking stuff, a sock monky bookmark! its so cute, scarves, fuzzy socks, mittens, calendar, candy lol..but it was fun..and thn i went to work and the girls gave me things too and it was nice and fun..they made me laugh a lot last night, and i went and borrowed 4 books from one of the girls lol..im set for things to read for now :)..and it was kinda interesting working without my shift partner last night..and even more astonishing that the girls tell me im there favorite..me ?! really ?! but a couple constantly tell me that..and as soon as i got there yesterday i had them tell me that they had waited all day for me to come and had been upset when i didnt show up yesterday morning with my shift partner lol..but it really does surprise me how much i geniuly care about the girls in my group..so fast
so im still laying in bed..feeling tired..but trying to relax a little before having to get ready for work..i promised the girls i would cook a better dinner tonight for them..and i will. i do like cooking for them most days ! and we have so much ham left over there! goodness..and i hate that it will ahve to go in the trash..im like really?! i will bring it home before i let it be thrown away..that is one thing that kills me about my job..like the girls almost always have tons of left over food from meals..but they only have one day a week where they can actually eat left overs..and if its been in the fridge for 3 days we are supposed to trash it...doesnt matter what it is...and if we cook on monday and its somethign they really like..it will be thrown away before they can even eat it again..and so its a lot of food that is thrown away there..and so i try when i can to bring left overs home..it makes no sense to me you know to just throw it away when its still perfectly fine..and good..and edible..there are some things that are so gross like vegtables that i would never bring home lol..but there are some things that we do like and when we cook a lot of something at work i try to bring some home for yvonne too..but yeah..loads of ham left from yesterday that will most likely get thrown away tonight or tomorrow..so yeah..
dusti is happy im back lol..i can tell
hmm cant think of anything else to talk about though...going go warm up food before getting ready for work..and then off i go !
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