pretty bad

going home was pretty bad .. even though it was only for a couple days it felt like forever ..i would cry..i want to cry but i cant..i wont ... mommy keeps me home this morning to talk..one of those random heart to hearts that i want no part of..but she had one this morning..she told me what she was upset/worried with me about and i listened and agreed to do better...my scars are a big concern for her..shes worried...she thinks ill be put in the hospital or not have a job because ill be considered crazy...i told her i cut because i was stressed out..she told me not to be stressed because theres nothing to be stressed about..she told me i didnt even have to think because she would tell me exactly what i needed to do or say or something..she told me what to i needed to eat..what i needed to wear..what i needed to do..that i needed to talk to her or someone if something was wrong but that nothing could be wrong .. i had to explain where the scars where and i got the convo about how she stays up late at night worrying about me..which is funny cas i most certainly dont stay up late at night worrying about much ..and most certainly not worrying about myself :( its just shard and makes me feel stupid and that i shouldnt even bother trying to do anything ..my scars make her ashamed...she told me that her plans for my future is to have them grafted off..i had no say in that decision at all..and i dont even know if i want them gone ...i guess i should but i dont know..but i guess the scars are bad and i should be ashamed of them ... how can you put that something is wrong with you and you cant be crazy in the same sentence? how is that supposed to help me or make me talk ?