today

(from this morning)
not really been feeling good lately...think its just a cold..or the starting of one..took meds last night and felt a little better cas couldnt sleep..but headache is back again and its so cold in the house becasue mommy said its to early to turn the heat one..and no one keeps socks on..and yea just feeling kinda miserable right now..( and for the record..no running out to the car with no shoes on when its freezing outside is not a good idea!!)

debating going to work..actually the way things are moving right now i really am going to be late but just not feeling good..need to stop by the store and pick something up..the correct meds for what ever it is i have..

had a weird half dream last night because i swear i wasnt sleep..but i was seeing it anyway..and t asked if i would start writing them down..so guess i will.although just thinking about it, it seems so easy to kinda read into but im not sure im liking what i think about it...but anyway here it is

i was going to pick up this cup ( i think it was a cup..) a coffee cup kinda cas there was a design of some sort on it..and as i was getting it, it just broke apart..and i was upset but then it was like ok the pieces are really big it can be put back together..and i went to get the pieces and was picking them up and they all broke into even smaller pieces..and that was even more upsetting..because i didnt know why it kept breaking..but they were still fixable..so i go and pick them up again..only they break again..and so on until i cant pick them up anymore..its all dust and it cant be fixed anymore...


dont know if there was anything after that...

i already know what i think about it but if anyone else has any ideas/insights feel free to share.

dusti is being funny and wanting to sleep on my back at night..so now its rather fun to just move around and she how long it takes her to get off! cas she will stand up and kinda wait for me to stop moving around and then lay back down..or grab onto the blanket until i stop moving but not get off lol..i actually had to get up before she really moveed!

hmmm but guess i better get going.

(and later)
was thinking on the way to work..not good i know lol..but someone was reminding me of what happened the first time we worked away from home for the summer..and how much we were able to be ourselves in the middle of being so far out of our comfort zone..but in the program i was working at we had to make daily goals..and actually work on them throughout the day..and most days we made really meaningless goals..but some days we made good ones about learning a new skill and stuff and would actually go and work at it..and when we were on the staff hike..yes 4 long miserable ( ok maybe not so miserable ) days in the woods..and accomplished all this stuff we set out to no matter how small it was you know..and the supervisor and other staff would just kinda tell me how proud they were that i was able to set a goal and actually work towards completing it..not giving up...they told me they were proud of me and then i was like the person who always did what she said she was going to do..heck somewhere in my head i can still make a campfire..i dont like doing it and will prolly never need the skill again but i learned how to do it..if i had to i could do it and not burn anything down in the process lol..cant believe i had forgotten that..that was one of the best times ever...even with all the stress involved working with the kids..it was still a really big deal you know...maybe all i need is a push in the right direction..and someone telling me that i really am doing it even if i dont think i am..

just a ramble

(and now)
feeling a huge urge to write today. i dont know what about but its like something is just going back and forth in my head and i dont know how to put words to it. really am missing my paint and things that are in storage and we can not get too. writing helps but something more hands on would be helpful too..mommy is going out of town this weekend and i cant say that im not happy about it. i would be happier if the nephew was gone too but thats just a whole nother issue all by itsself..maybe feeling a little nervous about t tomorrow..hmm yea not a huge deal or anything but just a nervousness that always surrounding going to see her..

went and voted today...glad that is over and done with!..one less thing to worry about..leaving work in a little bit and maybe just going home is a better idea...maybe read or just chill out a bit...been a long long day!!!