-nothing

i dont feel like i have any energy at all riight now..i just want to sleep for forever and never have to worry about anything else ..today has been miserable in some ways and utterly boring in others...i have the idea back in my head about how stupid and worthless i am and to make it go away i went back to throwing up..its beyond hurting right now..maybe with time it will all stop hurting..its the only thing that makes my head be quiet for a little while..dusti completely kept sleeping in my bed last night..and i move all over the place and she kept moving out of my range and then coming back..but i took something last night to help me sleep and stay sleep..finished my harry potter book for like the 5th time..started the other new one i have..but it prolly wont take long to get through that one and then ill have to find some other way to entertain myself during the day..yvonne asked if i would drive to raliegh and pick her up since her car messed up and she cant bring it ..i told her i could if she gave me gas money...i dont mind doing it but im not thrilled to be in the car for yet another million hours on the road...ill ahave to look up directions and everyhting but it will be fun driving back with company even though im horrible with small talk and everything..but yvonne already knows that too..but then i cant blast my incredibly depressing music either..that sucks ..i do try somethings to change my music if someone else is in the car with me..but right now i dont car and its like ok its my car and i can listen to whatever i want too..but then i feel mean for doing that..but sometimes i just kinda really need my cds to keep me sidetracked and if anyone bothered to really listen to the words in half of my songs they would wonder about my sanity anyway...i have an interesting taste in music i suppose and it really doesnt bother me but i htink sometimes it can get to other ppl...same way my movie selection is off the wall and i think i really have some of everything.. i watched gia the other day and its waynes movie but i have it now and it was shocking..i had been wanting to see it only because angelina was in it but good grief drugs, sex and the ugly world of modeling..im so naive at times its sickening..