Things are definitely changing.

things are changing...im hoping for the better. i really am...

i started my new job this week..found a possible apartment place that accepts 3 cats and is incredibly affordable! got my car stuff handled, and will be making money again soon. well in a month.  but you get the idea.

i saw my therapist yesterday and had an interesting conversation with her. about how i am doing ..progressing, gaining more confidence..and it was embarrassing..but for once..i did not fight her on it. i did not argue with her or go against what she was saying.  i actually almost completely accepted it. after the holidays we will be talking about whether or not i will be continuing therapy...and i think that all things considered..i may stop therapy for a while..see how it goes...i want to hit my one year mark with my current therapist..well my one year mark for no s/i...i just gotta make it to january 1st...and if things go the way im wanting them to go...everything will start looking up by that time next year also...ill be able to save and have a roommate who i actually like and get to keep both taji and bounce!  i am worried about the apartment stuff a little bit...but also excited too...im trying not to worry and juts wait and see how things will play out..but well the worry is there all the same..i mean i want a new start..a fresh start..a place that will allow me to have peace of mind..and be able to have fun and not worry..that is what i want..well i want taji and bounce too ..and even emerson.who is sarahs cat..i think there will be a fit to see which cat sleeps the most...bounce or emerson...and then comes the little stuff like making sure the cats see the vet before moving..as i want them groomed completely..im trying to figure out what i want to do with my furniture..or lack there of lol...i dont think i really want much out of my apartment..furniture wise...but i say that and its like ..umm where am i going to get a bed from then?!?!  im getting ahead of myself majorly.. -breathe- ok first gotta get the apartment...and well that may not be as straightforward as i want it to be..i dont mind them running my credit..shoot ill tell the guy i have sucky credit..but i dont want my job to be the thing that makes us not get approved...thinking that makes me feel really sad..because i want this so much and im not sure if my information will help or hinder things...i really dont want this to mess up..i know there are ways around having my credit run and all of that..but i have to talk to sarah about it and see how she feels..i think if we put both of the applications in..and let them run them and then say whether or not mine passed through would be a starting place...if mine doesnt..then maybe sarah can allow on her own for the apartment and i can just do the notary thing that says im helping her finacially to make up the rest of the money..and of course the bills would still be split of course..but yeah..gotta start somewhere...and i need to find my birth certificate.. we will need a couch lol..a table..chairs ..suddenly my lack of furniture is glaring its ugly head ..blah..of course im worried about furniture at a time like this!

but yes so many things are changing..it is slightly scary..i almost cried today when i realized i was able to pay my rent...really almost cried..

ive been good this week and am taking my meds like im supposed too...trying not to take the night one to early..but i am sleepy and want to go to sleep..but if i go to sleep now ill be awake at midnight..and that wont be helpful at all .

guess that means i will have to keep myself busy this evening...fun times