prolly not my best idea

so between today and yesterday i watched numerous episodes of intervention and now im watching locked up abroad and creeping myself out big time ... drugs and addiction and wanting some thing so much that you can be talked into anything..that makes me afraid you know..sometimes i dont trust myself and my instincts and im always worrying that im going to just get myself into some big big big major trouble some how..that ill be talked into something and not be able to save myself you know...and its crazy..im like i watch all this stuff and its like duh i would never do this or never agree to anything like this..and i would never be addicted to drugs or need something so very bad ..is it bad not to trust myself so much?  i dont know.. im scared of my trip next year..i mean yeah im going to the majorly touristy part of mexico and that its not an issue and i wont be alone..but yeah...craptastic lol... im worrying way to far in advance ! ill have to worry about this next year..aafter i actually get my passport...essh..