depressed

the depression is eating me alive..and i dont know how to stop it..im not even trying anymore..i want to go out and do things but i dont have the energy..instead i hide at home and do nothing but think about everything i should be doing..i feel tearful but cant cry..im tired but not sleeping..i dont know what im doing..and i dont feel like doing anything..i feel like a failure..for messing up again..i feel stupid for needing to be bailed out yet again..i cant deal with speaking to anyone right now..i dont want to see anyone..i just want to be alone..i am alone and all im thinking about is who i can talk to..but there is no one to talk to..my thoughts and feelings and all of it is just locked inside my head..inside my body.and there is nothing i can do about it..there is nothing that is going to make me feel better..and i dont know..its hard finding the words to write about how i am feeling..im back to being so unmotivated..so out of energy..i dont want to be in the world right now..i dont want to to work..i dont want to be around anyone..im tired of talking ..im tired of being..