what did i ever do to anyone at all to make things so freaking miserable for me...its been decided im moving and this time i just dont really care..im to upset to cry this time and its more of just being like ok fine..where exactly do they think i have money hidden at so that i have to fix there stupid mistake and then pay more for it..i dont like it and i just dont like that they can screw up and im the one who has to pay to fix it..so ill let my lease run out but im looking for another apartment starting now..well starting the other day since i asked around the office for apartment book things since i was going to be moving..so now i have to borrow a lot of money from mommy that ill have to pay back in a few days..im off of work for now and i dont think ill be making it back before lunch..the way things are going now i dont think ill make it back after lunch either..im waiting for a phone call from mommy and then ill be able to figure out what i have to do..
i found out yesterday that the kid causing a lot of problems in our group is going to be going home today...right up until i found out he was actually going home i wanted him to leave..but as soon as i found out it had been done i felt really guilty for asking them to look into it..but then i think of all the things he has thrown at me and how he stomped on a 4yr old and i dont feel so guilty anymore..if he had gone of the rafting trip we are taking tomorrow and then done something to really hurt someone while we were in the middle of a river it would have been bad and that company wouldnt want us to come back...so for the best he is going home...
the session is almost over..camp is almost over..its been a really long and draining summer..nia was right the second year is harder than the first..a lot harder ..i was thinking last night about what i would say as my reasons for leaving if i had to get a new job..it was interesting because its like well i had kids who threw stuff at me, hit me, completely curse me out and tell me im mean and evil and hated them..etc etc and then i had kids who i saw again and got to work with saw how much they had grown up and matured and remembered what we had worked on last summer...its weird how the small stu ff can suddenly become the big stuff..but oh well..the semester programs are running into trouble because no one wants to work for the program manager..and they were stupid and fired jim and now theres no one to work..all the perspective ppl are saying no..not many of the summer ppl are planning on sticking around for various reasons..and its like ok theres a problem somewhere and linda needs to figure out what it is..im staying only because i said i would and after i talk to jon and things dont change ill let linda know im leaving too...but it will really suck if things dont change because i liked the semesters i just dont like being treated like i have no idea what im doing and picking up the slack of the manager and being blamed for everything that goes wrong..that isnt cool and im not doing it again for another 4 months...its not like i have to stay..i want to stay but i dont have to..i want to stay in aspen and i was talking to jim about the new life school and whether i would want to work there..i dont want to go to the boys school though..maybe ill even try my luck at one of the other programs and move out of state..i dont know..if at all possible i want to stay in aspen though..but i think ill start looking into some of theiir other programs and see which ones i like...but now i have to go
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