sitcoms

wouldnt life be fun if it could be based off of sitcoms? any problem could be fixed in 30 mins...and hours if its really big..families somehow magically manage to be able to relate to each other no matter how big or stupid an issue may be..there is always some one there that magically has a answer to everything..when i was big into watching calliou all the time i thought about it then..that was like the perfect little cartoon family ..it still is but i dont have time to watch it as much anymore..but for all the shows i do watch that are sitcoms the old ones like boy meets world and step by step and family matters and a different world..everything has an answer..i wonder why things cant really be like that all the time ? and i guess if it was nothing would be as challenging or seem as important maybe..but maybe if it was like that then the world wouldnt be so screwed up..

im really really tired right now..like seriously all my energy has drained out of me..all the energy of being around the kdis are gone since they got to go home today..but this session was so much better than the last one..it was a good group and i was sorry to see them go in some ways..but glad in others..they were draining and i really didnt appreciate it being implied that since we had a good group then we didnt need the extra help when it was only 1 staff to 5 girls..and it happened a lot this session because of staffing issues and ppl quitting..so all the groups are understaffed and staff are pulled into different groups on a daily basis and it sucks because then there is someone how has a group of kids and they are the only one there...its not fair and without days off for days at a time its like we dont get a break...its easy to see why ppl in this field are so burnt out..there arent enough new ppl coming in and the old ones are used until there is nothing left...and yet i stay? why is it that i stay? and its funny when i say i live in my own little tali world but its partially true i guess..i dont do the things that would get me in ttrouble and i help where i can..i dont assume things will go as planned because thats just asking to be disappointed..yes i get stressed and tired and so very frustrated with the kids and with staff but its like..this is a job..what did i expect? this is a summer camp for now no less and its like ok umm have you ever seen an organized summer camp? when things go as planned then good but dont go in expecting everything to be perfect..your setting yourself up to be let down...i came back because i enjoy it..becasue it was listening to the kids say they have learned and grown in 3 weeks and want to come back..and it being told by parents that they appreiciate what we do and what we have to deal with..heck one set of parents asked if i would go home with them just to keep working with their daughter! i wasnt expecting that but its what i like..and then its the other staff ive grown used to and enjoy being around..i like that no one really cares i say its my birthday everyday and so they tell me happy birthday..no one cares if i wear the same clothes three days in a row because there is no time to change and no energy to bother..no one cares when its downtime and i pull out a coloring book or play with bubbles..only at camp can we have food/water/whipped cream fights and its an event for the day not something to get in trouble for..no one cares that i talked my group into washing my car and they volunteered for the job!!..only the ppl who work here can really understand the stories we talk about and the issues we have to deal with on a daily basis..no matter how small or stupid we have to deal with it...and then it was seeing some of my kids from last summer and seeing how much they have grown up..and become so much better at handling themselves..so i came back..and will again if i can..i like being here..i like the atmosphere and some how i manage to stay out of the politics of what goes on .. im not admin but im treated with the same status most of the time..and i know if i was offered a admin job i would have to say no..being in the office makes me crazy..the phones never stop ringing and i never volunteer to answer them..but i enjoy the kids regardless of being called some really bad things i still enjoy them in the end...

hmm all of that aside im glad for the couple days off..i need to recahrge..i need to be in the real world for a while..or pretend im in the real world at least..ive finally given in and agreed to go and see the new harry potter movie tomorrow morning..that will be the only treat for the time off..after that its laundry and more laundry and cleaning the apartment..ive slacked off big time with that and should be ashamed of myself for letting things get so messy..but its just i come and go with no real time to clean stuff up..i want to go and get a library card but im a little nervous about it..dont know why but i am...right now im just feeling really unfoucsed and trying to do to many things at once..

although ive finally gotten around to comprehending why it is i need to be held responsible for some thigns i do..with out someone there to check and make sure im doing it i wont do it..ill keep putting it off ..and putting it off..and agreeing to do it but still putting it off..its been 7 months and i have yet to do what i agreed to do before i left arran in dec!! before i graduated..and ive completely let it all slip on purpose yes but still...in school i was checked on heavily and now its just me and i dont really care it seems..i dont care enough