more days

right now im in the comp lab and have been for like onnly an hour and a half and already my hands are so cold i can barely feel them! anyway its friday and im sick again and just wanting to lay in bed all day and do absolutly nothing...im feeling better than i was yesterday and hanging out with yvonne last night did lift my mood some...i hadnt seen her in a couple days because of our schedules being so different..its been a depressing week over all and it finally just got to the point of where it was call the counseling place or drive myself in sane because i was just sitting in class trying not to cry for no real reason..just all of a sudden i really wanted to cry and couldnt explain why..so i have an appt for this coming up tuesday and ill see how it goes...ive been eating ok i guess and sleeping lots..playing online alot to but ill try to catch up on homework and things this weekend..catrina asked me to go do some stuff with her but i dont think ill go..i dont want to be around to many ppl right now and going with her would mean i would have to and im not up for it really...but i dont know since i havent really seen her in like forever...so knows maybe ill decide to go but im not counting on it at all...dusti is fine mostly going into heat again so im going to get her fixed next week im hoping..i have to call around and find out some prices but roxy said she would take me and im just waiting to find out what her schedule is like next week since ihave a ton of free time and nothing to do...except on tuesday and thinking about tuesday just makes me really worried and nervous since i have all my classes and a therapy appt all on the same day and i have no idea how in the world ill make it through all of that on the same day..being in class till 8 was more than enough to tire me out and therapy just makes me tired period...but i said i would and i pretty much dont have a choice since i have to let my teacher know what i did anyway and ill drop into her office sometime next week when i have some free time because next thursday my two week limit is up anyway and she will be looking for me...i have to start working on my family project this weekend because if i dont i will keep putting it off and then i will be rushing to finish it and i dont plan on working on it all the week of my birthday...i dont even know what im doing for my birthday...dr bass wants to take me to lunch and i said i would go but still im hoping she will forget about it but i doubt she will dr bass doesnt really forget things and its really weird i mean she remmembered osmething i said three years ago and told me so last semester when i was back in her class..it was really freaky i cant even remember stuff from that long ago much less what i told her in class...so anyway i dont think she will forget and im not gonna make it to easy for her to find me to remind me...ive been majorly selfish lately and it sucks..all ive been doing is thinking of myself and not much else and i really didnt mean to because i hate when im called selfish and i try hard not to be but i guess i am...i went and saw sisterhood of the traveling pants and the movie was good but it just depressed the heck out of me..i mean here i am with pretty much my whole life ahead of me and im doing everything possible to end it as soon as i can get away with it and i guess in a way its not fair but it becomes an obbesion at times and i really dont mean it to be because im not gonna end up killing myself anytime soon no matter how much i might want to..and there are like tons of ppl who are worse off than i am and all i do is think about myself and that is really mean of me...but i dont know...im just feeling really off lately