awake

i highly doubt ill be going to sleep tonight because i waited till the last minute yet again to do my homework/test so i have to stay awake to get it finished..not that i mind but if i dont sleep them i have to be really careful to stay moving tomorrow so that i donnt fall asleep at the drop of a hat...this weekend has bee really hard..i spent most of it by myself and then i spent all of that time talking myself out of cutting...my stress levels are getting to me and im just way to jumpy i guess..and more quiet than usual...i went out to dinner today and as usual my not eating became a topic...and to get nothing from the grocery store and still spend a fortune gets on my nerves...i havent been drinking enough lately and im worried ill be dehydrated again soon...but i also know my eating on a reg basis is getting smaller i guess..i havent stopped but im getting close again..theres nothig i want and what i do want i refuse to eat...i did give in today and get chips so i dont know maybe it wont be so bad...but it is really hard to explain how ice is a meal..not that it would make any sense whatso ever...so many different worries going through my head right now...this weekend is yvones birthday and i got her a gift i know she would like..well i hope she likes it and it hasnt gotten here yet since i did order it offline...im hoping it gets here soon..we went to the bookstore today to and i was looking through the self help/mental health books just because they are always interesting and i started reading one of them and i really want the book just to see what it says but its way to much money and ill have to wait and see..but it was about healing the inner child..some workbook thing and i only started reading it because i was flipping through it and it had the questionaire things in it and they got my attention...it goes through the stages by age and its just kinda interesting...back to homework..and not getting to distraccted