Wednesday, July 17, 2013

i have calmed down....

yesterday..i managed to get completely overwhelmed very quickly.and not feeling good just made the whole thing worse you know...

but i have thought through a lot of the mess from yesterday and well have come to terms with some things..and still up in the air and worrying about other things...

firstly ..i have to get my work turned in...regardless...by tomorrow...or i will be put back on probation...something that i do not want to happen..so notes will be turned in tomorrow...

money..is well always an issue..and allowing ppl to borrow money that i dont have is going to have to stop...i cant take care of myself if im loaning out all i have and waiting for it to be paid back...no...and i refuse to feel guilty about it..i can say no..i have a right to be able to take care of myself..i try to help and want to keep ppl happy and that is where i get myself into these situations...and i end up more stuck than anything else..and i hate it..and it juts makes me more anxious and worried and scared....and ive done a lot to help this person..i have...but i dont have the money to share right now..and well if that makes you mad then i am sorry you feel that way..but again it is how you are feeling..not how i am feeling...and if me not loaning you money is gonna cause you to have an attitude and be mean and rude then yeah..its time for a change...

i am standing up for myself a little bit more..and saying no sometimes..and sometimes i am worn down by the asking and change my mind...which is something i know i will have to work on...

but i have calmed down...i am taking it a step at a time.  cas other wise i am jut gonna get all annoyed and overwhelmed again....


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