am i still hiding?

What is it that makes me want to hide the real me from my real facebook page..these are the people i know, family, friends, coworkers...and yet i still feel the need to only put up happy stuff..to be careful what i post so i dont offend anyone..i know its my page and i can do what i like with it..but the fear is there and it is all so real...all i want to do is write that im having a hard time..struggling ..and im afraid...i am worried about what people will think of me..what will people say about me...maybe it is the invalidation that worries me...having someone tell me that i need to smile or that i have so much to be happy for or whatever...but no one else is living my life..no one else knows what i am going through or dealing with..and right now..the sadness continues to win...the sadness overwhelms me...and my thoughts drive me to take medication and just pass out...ignore the world and everything in it...im tired ...