Thursday, April 11, 2013

i dont know

i dont know whats wrong..im tired and cranky and in a bad bad mood..and i cant seem to let things go and im ancious and paranoid and just not ok and i dont even know why...shouldnt i be feeling better??? im not in pain physically anymore..well for the most part..but now mentally im ready to crash and burn...somehow there is to much in my head now..to much thinking that i cant get away from..to many wants and not enough time..the need for comfort and i feel stupid because i cant give it to myself..i want to go back to the hospital just to be taken care of..not because anything is wrong..and i think somewhere in my head im letting things get to the point where i mayj uts end up back in the hospital..except this time for mental stuff..and ill be damned if that is going to happen...no no no..it hasnt happened before and it isnt happening now...i dont care what i need to do..to keep myself out of the hospital but i will...i dont want to be there and im not going there and i dont care how much comfort i may think i want..it wont be coming from anyone in a hospital..

i dont want to see susan or courtney today...i really dont..i want to just hide at home and forget the rest of the world even exists...now may not be the best time to talk to me...just saying

No comments: