no things will not be like this forever..it just cant be..i dont want it to be..have actually been using a couple of message boards to kinda talk and get feedback on different things, different issues...because i have such a problem calling any of it abuse..still kinda tip toeing around that whole thing..but linda calls it what it is and i think that makes me feel really nervous..and scared..but the message boards have been really helpful lately..and im glad im actually starting to write and use them for support..and listening..and in general goofing off some days..
today sadness won out..and right now im feeling incredibly sad but i dont know why..im just sad, disappointed..scared..i dont know..not even at home right this minute..yvonne came and we went out for a bit..and now im at her place cas she asked me if i would go to a party thing with her tomorrow..for her graduation stuff..cas she graduates on friday! and i am proud of her..and im happy she asked and no i dont do great with parties and stuff but its an ease on the anxiety knowing im going with her at least..and then ill be coming back on thursday night so ill be here for her graduation..and then home..and then the week after that it will be packing to go out of town and that is scary all by its self..
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