once again

i cant figure out my head...all these thoughts are going around in my head and not getting anywhere and im tired of thinking about all of it and about none of it at the same time...i cleaned the whole house today..guilt cleaning but i cleaned all the same...guilt cleaning is interesting since i dont allow myself to stop till its done..but i mean i really cleaned and it wasnt noticed...not that i was expecting a thank you since i live here but just a little acknowledgement would have been nice and made me feel less invisiible...im just feeling too sad and alone for my own good..same old same old..working on some old poems and what not..not a great idea wither but i have no one 'good' way of emptying my head...