just feel like writing

having a tired day...not feeling like doing anything and havent really done much today...watched maria full of grace and it was a good movie sad though...i like having netflix..kinda sad ill have to cancel but ill get it again eventually i guess...still weirded out about the whole doc thing...i dont know what i was thinking but im trying to go day by day i guess..and figure it all out as i go along...already s/i and b/p for the week so not feeling great but i dont know...i didnt go home at least since mommy went out of town to take care of some stuff dealing with her accident in ohio..not that i wanted to go but mainly because i knew the second she saw me she would start yelling at me about how much ive been picking at my face...i dont even know why i do it :( so i have another week to deal with it i guess and hopefully try to stop enough to let them all get better to some point...i made pancakes today though..found a nice easy veggie recipe for them and they came out pretty good i think...i made some baked donut things to that are ok but i know next time to not use nutmeg since im not a ffan of the stuff...im trying to think of something to have for dinner though..im trying not to purge again..hurt to much...its been raining all day today and i spent all day inside anyway...i swear i spend to much time alone and in the house..but i cant help that..to much going out makes me paranoid and then i dont have the extra money to spend anyway...no reason to go anywhere..will prolly finish cleaning up the house tomorrow...last night yvonne came in and gave this long speech about how great i am and its not that i dont believe her its just well no i dont believe her...not that i told her that or anything..i mean it was a nice speech and all but still i just do what i ahve to do..and if i get stuck always cleaning or something its no big deal i guess..ive been doing it for forever and washing dishes is no big deal...i just know that if i want it done and done right i have to do it...guess that goes with depending on myself for things..between me and yvonne i do clean up a whole lot more...and i hate cleaning unless im feeling guilty or something like i was last night...but oh well..tihngs are more likely to get done that way anyway...oh well off to cook i guess..and clean the kitchen from this morning