Monday, June 10, 2013

where the last week has gone ....

i was going to write this later but well...the thoughts are on my mind now and i better get them somewhere before i forget what it is that i want to write down...

i had forgotten about this particular entry...dont know why..my head is pretty out of it right now...fuzzy..confused..having lots of trouble concentrating...

when i wrote the other post i was feeling pretty bad depressed wise....but had pdoc and t the next day and saw both of them...and worked out a med change that i seem to be handling much better...she switched me over to the other form of welbutrion..so instead of being on sr im now on xl..and i think it is working...i dont have much to go on really cas right as i was changing the meds..i caught a cold...and it has turned out to be a pretty bad cold at that...

hmm wed my throat started hurting..wasnt a major thing...just kinda noticed and moved on...thursday it was worse..hurt eating..headaches..general confusion..not having energy or motivation to do anything at all...did go and pick up some mucinex..cas i was coughing and i knew i wsas trying to get the cold to come out but it wouldnt ..and mucinex does help with that part of things...friday comes along and im worse not better...everything is still going on...go back to the pharmacy and get a different type of medication...changed to the dayquil/nyguil stuff..and thought it helped a little bit..eating was still a major pain because it hurt to swallow anything at all..cept soup...so my diet for the past 4 or so days has been soup, tea, or bread..with the occasional something else thrown in until i gave up trying to eat it...watermelon worked too...saturday comes along and i wwake up and cant open on of my eyes which freaks me out..cas i start thinking i have pink eye....got my eye cleared up and it was a little pink but not the itching hurting that comes along wtih pink eye...mom and sister both telling me i sound awful...which brings me to yesterday...again i had been taking the over the counter stuff..and it juts wasnt working so great...again being told i sound awful..and that it was hard to understand me talking...i wanted to give it one more day..before going to the ER ...because that was the only option...ER because the clinic i go to you have to have an appt to be seen..and so i knew i wouldnt be able to be seen there...i was kinda hoping i could slip in and see my med doc and get her to prescribe me something ..but it didnt get to that point...at first i was fighting hard not to go to the hospital..putting my hope and well wellbeing into the over the counter stuff and hoping it would kick in..but i was miserable..congested..hungry and not hungry..cold and hot..and trying to breathe and talk at the same time was getting harder..and so yesterday afternoon when mommy again pushed going to the ER i didnt fight her on it..i was tired..i was sick..i couldnt see any other way out of it really..and at that point i dont even think i cared...i was a little angry that i couldnt wait until tomorrow you know...but oh well on that one...

so off to the ER i go...driving slowly because my attention is all over the the place and i cant focus...the long freaking walk from my car to the emergency room about did me in..i was so tired!! but no one else was in there and so i was checked in immediately..and almost juts as quickly got a face mask to keep my germs to myself..i was taken back to a room just as fast...and the doc came and saw me almost immediately...talked about what had been going on..meds i was taking..etc...tested me for strep..i was just glad i got to lay down and not have to do anything for about an hour...finally the doc lets me now its nothing major..no strep..no pink eye..no im gonna die tomorrow..etc...he told me i have an upper respiratory infection with a bit of bronchitis thrown in...and so i left the er in 3 hours (no kidding) and headed (very slowly) to the pharmacy..only to fi nd out that the 3 prescriptions where going to be over $100...money that i didnt have at all...ready to cry and freak out i called mommy and she told me she would get the money..so i ended up borrowing the money from my sister and her husband to my utter humilation..promised them a million times to pay them back..but the whole thing was overwhelming ..and i was beginning to cry while at the pharmacy...so got the medicine and some juice and just came home..started the antibiotic and the steriod thing right away...the inhaler i do find a bit amusing .because i havent had to use one since i was a kid..spent yesterday evening sleeping off and on...but headache wouldnt go away at all...finally at around 11pm figured out i hadnt eaten since like 7am..and should prolly fix something..so made my little english muffin sandwiches with fruit and some chips..and some orange juice...stayed up a bit longer..and then again fell asleep...silly me had left the sugary stuff from making tea earlier in the day all over the counter in the kitchen..and so my surprise at finding the ant kingdom on my counter was not pleasant...got that cleaned up and sprayed down..before fixing my food..ugh i hate ants..but now the sugar is safely in the fridge away from the like creepers...and this week once i catch up once again on work stuff..i will be giving the apartment a good once over..well once i can do it without having a 'i cant breathe attack' but there is a major need to find some order in the chaos that is my apartment..and i think that will help with feeling better too...

but that all brings me to this morning..and pretty much where i am at now...already took the antibiotic since i managed to get that one started at 5pm yesterday..but im up early so its not a big big deal..trying to wait till at least 8 to take the other meds with my regular medication..and i have to actually eat with the steroid one..ugh..so at 8 will take those....i was waiting for the energy boost but i think its taking affect pretty slowly lol.just my luck...i did manage to start some laundry and take out the trash though so that was a plus..and dang it im getting tired again ...freck...

but the coughing has been more productive this morning...as in im actually getting the gunk trapped in my lungs and sinuses out...its so gross though... so so gross...having to do that hacking nails on a chalkboard throat clearing to get the gunk up and out..and it hate when other ppl do it..and hate it juts as much when i do it !! it drives me crazy..and yep its so gross..but its coming out...gotta keep telling myself that..

but i am feeling better already...and it hasnt even been 24 hours yet..my throat isnt as sore...im becoming less congested the more i cough gunk up...i can think again a little bit...im more interested in what is going on around me..

my body took a beating these last 3 or so weeks ... and i know i will need to take it slow to regroup and once again get back to where i can manage and not tire out so quickly...but today will be an at home paper work day...no going anywhere..while im getting used to the meds..and all of that....

but maybe laying down for just a little bit longer will be ok..

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