Thursday, May 27, 2010

goodness..so much is going on!

so i had a training yesterday on boundaries at work. and it was pretty interesting you know..i mean yeah they made the mistake of feeding us and then lecturing for 3 hours but hey you cant win them all lol. but yeah realized that my boundaries are better but there is still room for improvement. and for some reason my boundaries with the girls kinda depends on the girl. like i have that hugs me 2 or 3 times a day, and sometimes she just kinda stands next to me and i have my arm around her..and i get the feeling that she needs that connection you know..and i dont mind having her close to me or letting her hug me or something..but of course i never like go to them for hugs or anything..and then i have some that dont like hugs at all..and some that ask for hugs..and some that just kinda randomly touch my arm or something.. but i would never be like that with adults you know...its fine with the girls but not with anyone else really. but today i asked to be a goal buddy to one of the new girls..bcause both of the goal buddys i have now will be leaving soon..and i really find the new girl very likable..but the kid told me tonight that she was very happy that i was her goal buddy because i made her laugh and she liked me. and i guess it just made me feel needed..and wanted..and that is a nice thing. i also had another girl tell me she loved me today..completely innocent you know..and she told me to never forget that i was special..shocked me to say the least..because im not looking for stuff like that from these kids..i know they have there own stuff to deal with and i can only be there to help and support and teach..but some of them do surprise with with there sincerness at times.

hmm today has been..gosh today has been a day of nothingness...seriously..i got up..played online..did some stuff for mommy online, napped, watched tv, started laundry, and seriously thats been my day...i was so worn out this morning! it was not funny..well i fell asleep on the floor last night..and yvonne scared the crap out of me in the middle of the night..cas she was supposed to be out of town..but she left something and it was like 3 in the morning i just kinda get the feeling that someone is near me.and she is there and yeah..super creeped..but a little while after that i got up and went to bed..and then i got up this morning and just didnt have energy to do anything..and i know with this being my long week i have to prepare myself for working the weekend..but i guess i just feel like i should have done more or something..i dont know..

still feeling tired though..not completely ready for the weekend but it should be ok..im hoping it will be ok!

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