been awhile

so camp is in full swing now..our first set of kids left yesterday and it was so stressful and some of the kids were just horrible because they knew they were going home and they played the i dont have to listen to you anymore card a heck of a lot and it sucked big time...i was so glad to get rid of a couple of ym kids but at the same time i already miss them and im worried about forgetting them..but my groups have changed too..this session im working with the 12 year old boys and im working with hollice and bobby jo and this session we are doing the four day hike and im already dreading it..but i guess it does make me feel better knowing that i have already done it and lasted through it in one piece so maybe it wont be so bad..still i will miss the little kids i had because the 8-11 year olds were fun too...so today is destress day and it is relaxing..heck i got to take a shower for as long as i wanted it to be and it was so srelaxing.. and im feeling better today..something was really bothering me last night and it hasnt completely gone away but its not so bad anymore..not really sure what it was but i guess ill figure it out soon enough..but all that matters for now is that i am feeling better...on the last night of the kids being here we had a closing ceremony thing and we all had to go around the circle and say something nice about everyone one at a time and it was fun and hard and unexpected..tamara and hollice had really nice things to say about me..tamara told me that i was quiet and calm and that was a good thing because i was thoughtful and not rushed to jump into anything..and then to make it harder we had to say something good about ourselves and i was not wanting to do that either but i did something i had learned instead and i said that i learned i was a lot stronger than i thought i would be..than i thought i could be..i have done a lot of things that i never would have ever in a million years considered doing..i talk more here than i have in my life and im listened too..just staff wise not kid wise because thats just something completely different..but people come to me asking for advice and just to talk..i really liked talking to jim and hollice and tamara and mina and just everyone..im still quiet but its not a bad thing...everyone says in paitent and once i did think i was but now im not so sure because i always feel like im just short tempered and who knows maybe i am patient..but camp is really more fun than i thought it would be..funny i dont mind being touched here like hug wise either..here its ok and needed and wanted and it helps...im so ready to go white water rafting again because it was a lot of fun and with al lthe rain we have been getting it will be so muc h cooler..but im alright if not a little off today but im nervous about tomorrow still..i think i will come back next year though..the kids i wasnt even working with them and they asked if i was coming back...maybe i will because i like it here..better than that maybe ill just move to asheville because i like it here..its quiet here and not busy and just overall really nice..and i should go soon since im slacking seriously on my summaries i was supposed to be writing like three days ago! but im fine even though i am being eaten alive by bugs..i got a skeeter stik yesterday and its cool becuase now i can carry it around and work on not scratching my bites...jim threathened to put me in gloves if i kept scratching because a bunch of my bites were just past being bites anymore...but its been almost two months with no cutting..i think this might be the longest ive ever gone without it! jim calls me goddess and has since the lifegaurd test but i dont mind because its kinda nice in its own way...but hmm things are cool here..the weather sucks a lot because its so hot and then it gets cold and then it storms for three days at a time..but things to do so im off..

ps if i see one more pb&j ill scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!