like i could reall leave without writing..i dont think i would have made it out the door knowing i could have completely ignored mommy and thought up something to write but since im already getting yelled at ill make this quick..woke up feeling sick and of course got on line and got to talk to jenny for a bit .. still am and she always makes me feel better..so now im ok and slighty happy ..so im ok again and not really wanting to do anything but i know i need to fiinish pulling my stuff together so i can start cleaning up..so randomly i was thinking yet again about why im having second thoughts about camp and i guess it was one of those duh moments..some how i had been thinking around the problem that i still think ill leave and somehow ill be forgotten..two and a half months is a really long time to go anywhere thats not school and even thats a long time sometimes..but i have a few problems with thinking im going to be forgotten and it makes me nervous...i know im not the greatest person alive but i wonder how easy it would be to forget me...so now that i know whats actually bothering me im not sure i know how to fix it but ill figure out something...but im sure ill think about it plenty on the 6hour drive up there..ugh i hate being in the car for more than two hours now after that stupid chicago trip..and im back to complaining..so i think ill just go and finish cleaning up and what not