well today..has passed mostly in sleep and i do feel super bad about that..you know its vday and all and i slept all afternoon away..blah..but i made cake ..and my stomach is being stupid and i want it but im not feeling the best...so yeah.. but its ok sarah and i are going out on saturday. so that will be fun. and i even made dinner before i fell asleep! say that med doc today and i had to keep reminding myself that she is not a therapist .. i wanted so badly to talk about things indepth and its like nope..she doesnt know how to work the therapy side of things..she listens to me and tries..but its not therapy..and there is so very much stored in my head at the moment that i need to talk about..but that aside..i have the go ahead pretty much to look for an outside therapist..how nice is it that i have to save to see a therapist..but there is no guarantee time frame for me seeing someone at the clinic and umm i really need to see someone..so im looking around..i may have found someone that i want to try..but the intake alone is over $100..so i really will have to do some serious budgeting to be able to fit in weekly therapy..ive been given the go ahead to increase the new med.which is fine..no real side effects i dont think except being really sleepy and taking incredibly long naps..im seeing her again next week just to check in and i told her i would see how i was feeling then and decide if i needed to keep seeing her weekly.. i mean im feeling better ..like for part of the day..but things still tend to go back downhill at the drop of a hat...that part of things sucks royally. eating has been awful..but im so so soooooooooooo thirsty all the time..i drink juice all day long ..which i know isnt good for my sugar and what not...i really need to go and get more squeezy bottles to drink out of..i totally will on friday. cas ill drink the water in those with no problem..but to pour a cup of water and drink it is really hard to do most days..i gotta go and pick up the new med on friday..and start that one..and find my meter so i can start checking my sugar again..a lot going on..like a lot of little things going on..i did sorta start my food journal..it is embarrassing to put it nicely..well its embarrassing to me ..to write down what i am eating and stuff...and again im not eating that much you know...not like thousands of calories at a time or anything.. i do go and see the nutritionist on monday though..maybe that will help
but im tired still..gonna go and lay back down.
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