panic and fear

struggling big time tonight...found out that i will have to see a male gyno on monday..and did not go into details with the doc as to why that is not an ok thing ... and so i have the appointment...which is causing panic and fear and worries and just getting really close to going back into shut down mode..i just want to be alone and not around anyone right now. and all the convos about eating and what to eat and what not to eat are getting to me. im angry about all of it now..i go back to see the useless nutritionist on monday. yay me. im sick of doctors right now..all of them. i want them to leave me alone but they keep saying they care and sh!t .. i dont want them to care. i want them to leave me alone. highly on edge and susceptible to do stupid things to make it to my appointment on monday