Something is bothering me...I'm not sure what it is but it is just getting worse I think...Maybe it is just the holiday and the usual blues and depression that seems to come with it...I don't know..My mind is seeking quiet and solitude...I know we are bringing up and talking about a lot in t lately and maybe I'm not writing enough..talking about my sister and being adopted are such big triggers and both things that are coming up during sessions..a lot of talking about mommy and how things were..And I guess I'm not not doing enough to elevate the feelings...but the sadness is hitting hard today..I know mommy is preparing to go to nias and I am feeling left out..as everyone will be there and I won't...I'm happy to be spending time with Sarah..And bounce and kaiya I just hate feeling like I'm missing things and not being included...And no one wants me crying on the phone about things anyway...I'm going to need to make sure I'm taking my meds...I realize I haven't taken them today because I feel like bursting into tears right now...I am worrying and stressing out about things..And I just want this to be a good week...I really do..I don't want to be down and struggling and trying to be safe..but my head seems to have other ideas because I'm not quite sure how safe I am feeling..right now...
I'll have to work tomorrow answer..And wed morning and afternoon I'll be baking before work...And Thursday is thanksgiving..Friday, Sat, and Sun will be back and forth between ac Moore and Sarah...
Maybe I just need a good night's sleep..I did finally get my meds refilled...
No comments:
Post a Comment