I really just want to take my meds and go to sleep...I'm tired..My head hurts...I can't begin to figure this out..And I'm looking at the future and see nothing...No way out and I'm sick of all of it... don't have the energy to pretend right now..I don't have the energy to talk ..I'm scared I'm going to loss my jobs because of no transportation..I'm worrying and freaking out and I see no hope anywhere..I just want to get in the car and drive away
.I didn't see Courtney today so I'm out of half my meds..which doesn't help my thoughts any at all...My thinking Just gets worse and I see how way to turn it off...I'm waiting to tell mommy because I can imagine how that conversation will go..I need to pay bills and I can't.but if I don't I'll lose my stuff in storage..I don't know anyone who wants to drive me around to get to work...I'm stuck..in so many ways right now..
I've been hiding today...crying..hiding..thinking...I told nia I give up..And I do
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