low

About to get,ready to head to work..we are all over the place and in a really big please leave me alone mood...found out will be going home on Thursday..May be stuck there until Saturday..chaos reigns inside...anxiety picked up  immediately..on edge..she will,have me trapped...And I'll be cut off from online and stuff once I get home...My phone barely even gets a signal at home...been trying not to cry or do anything crazy but can't get a handle on the thoughts...the list of things I have done wrong lately is long..And there will be no  escape from her talks..And we have to keep it together because she knows I can't refuse or fight back if it means no car..or no money for a car...it's a.big set up...we are walk in  into trouble and there is no why that I can see out of it...we are going home alone...the fear is alive .. sadness and depressed and just out of sorts...How well,can,I,be fixed in two days ??? I guess I'll be finding out...How easily can I be broken when I get home..knowing I can't fight back????