After all this time....I guess if I look at,the big picture..it's been a little less than two months of epic shittiness...And today..I guess that breaking point was reached or whatever..the whole staying positive..being strong...knowing something better is coming ..I just can't believe...I've tried..And now things are just worse I guess..I feel worse...I'm tired...I'm fighting tears today and its a stupid losing battle..I'm stomach has made the past day or so a bit miserable...not that anyone cares....couldn't handle mommy today and ended up yelling on the phone..And her saying she would not call..but whatever..I don't believe that either..I don't believe anything....I don't even believe anything Im telling myself..the problem with crying is that once it starts it takes forever to get it to stop..I don't want to cry..I have to go to work later..I need to pull myself together...I have to pull myself together...forget it...I'll cut and worry and make it through the day.
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