I can sit quietly and think ..I am thinking fast about things and my thoughts are already going downhill...that accident that wasn't my fault has destroyed everything..My falling  for the scam is just argument worthy for the rest of my life
.I don't know...but now it is being used to remind me that I've messed up..that she will have to bail me out...that I am out of money..that I owe Rob..that I have nothing..that I have to,pay bills..that I,can't say anything to anyone..keep my secrets..lie..pretend...all the things I'm so fucking good at...pretend everything is fine ..I'm useless