I lost

I gambled and lost...I trusted and was lied to and now I have no idea how to pick up the pieces...I suck at life..And I see no way out..I was so happy..so excited..I missed the signs..And now I will pay for it...I'm just stupid and I'm trying hard not to do anything bit the need to pull away ..hide...ignore everything and everyone pulls at me..I can't deal right now..I just cant..And I don't want to anymore...I'm tired of trying

.of trusting...of believing that things will get better...all I want to do is just go away...I don't think I'll go to see Courtney tomorrow..I'll ask Jane to get her to call me...I can't face anyone right now...