jobs

and with everything going on...another route in the plan has developed..and my mind is going crazy trying to keep up..trying to plan and figure it out and figure out the best option....i had lunch yesterday with an old supervisor..one who knows more about me than i know about me...i ask to live with her every time i see her...she keeps strong boundaries to deal with my incredily poor ones..but anyway...saw her yesterday...finally talked to her about everything that has gone on job wise because she had been holding on to a job for me to come and work in her group home for her ..with children..and i hadnt yet told her about my background thing..and so i told her yesterday..and well yeah...both have complete understanding that i cant work with children for two more years..at least..so that is a no go..(she promised not to kill me)...but she put another job offer on the table for me....a live in position ...working over nights with an elderly lady...free room and board...i would still be making a small income..etc...i just need to pretty much be there you know..help out a bit..mostly be there in case of an emergency type thing...and she needs someone like within the next week or two....i need a place to live within the next week or two...i would be able to work and make money and not have to pay rent...i still have to talk to my supervisor because i have a lot a lot of questions ... but the con to all of this is..i cant take the cats...she is allergic..the elderly lady...i have no one who can keep them for us..and so they will have to go to the pound...i have found a no kill shelter...but the feelings are all over the place...taking a job and losing the cats...or moving in with the friend who has three kids and keeping the group home job and one of the cats but not both...im trying so hard to think it through and figure out what the best option is...im wearing myself out thinking..i know what i want to do but im afraid to commit because it means saying goodbye to my two best friends...the two little furry people who have been homeless with me...moved from place to place with me..that i refused to give up...and now a job comes along and the only way to accept it..and to get out of a dangerous situation and move into a safe place...a quiet place...is to let them go....i feel awful making the decision ... i really do